Aug 042014

I lost July. I know it came and went, but I didn’t really notice it. I kept meaning to go into SL and find interesting things to do so I could take pics and blog, but I just couldn’t seem to motivate myself. When I did log in I spent most of the time in my house playing around in my inventory instead of exploring and going on picture taking adventures. My Second Life has been a lot like my offline life.

It’s certainly not the first time a month has slipped away from me. I still feel as if I am caught in a bubble outside of time. I know that it passes for others, but I just don’t feel it.

People keep repeating to me that there’s no time limit on grief. That I should take as long as I need and not worry or apologize for it. Sometimes I think I’ve taken this advice a bit too much to heart, though, and I’ve been using it as an excuse to sit at home, lost in thought and memories, and hide from the world.

Sometime I will have to think of rejoining life again. Sometime I’ll pick myself up and begin making my plans to rebuild my life, to go out into the world, to accept my “new normal.” Sometime I’ll begin to accept that grieving the loss of my husband doesn’t mean spending the rest of my life as a hermit.

But it’s just so easy to sit in the house and let time pass.

Has the dawn ever seen your eyes?

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May 062014

Have you walked on the stones of years?
When you speak, is it you that hears?
Are your ears full?

Music keeps me afloat. Music has held my hand for the past six months and reassured me that life really will get brighter one day.  A common love of two bands in particular has introduced me to some of my closet and most treasured friends. Sometimes I wish I could thank my favorite musicians, and let them know how much the music they’ve created has meant to me, but I’m sure they’ve heard people tell them these things many times. I’ll just leave my little bits of gratitude here and there for a while.

Thank you, guys. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My song of the day is in honor of my prog sisters. They don’t read this blog or have much interest in SL, but I had to share the above pic of me and my armored pal at the Prog Museum with them earlier today, which they did find pretty cool. 😀

Apr 242014

My first thought when I visited Frisland was that it was exactly the sort of place I’d have been eager to share with my husband. I could imagine biking around the sim with him, and looking for the hidden little spots and the tiny details. It’s a really beautiful place and I’ve gone back a few times to take pictures and just enjoy the quiet, and rez a bike (available near the entry point) to ride around, and accidentally pedal straight into the sea, or crash into trees. In all my years you’d think I’d have gotten the hang of bicycling in SL, but nooo…

In one week it will be six months since my husband died, and sometimes I feel like I’m looking for a way to mention him in every blog post I make, no matter which blog I’m writing on. I still talk to him all the time about the day. I still share my exploration in world with him. Sometimes it’s nice to find those quiet, tranquil sims and take a moment to sit and imagine he’s joining me in the adventure.

Visit Frisland

Seasons Come

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Dec 132013


Dear Natureszen,

I spent a lot of time in world today, I wandered around some of the winter sims and tried to take some pics. Calas Galadhon is lovely, though as I watched the couples skating, or passing me on their cross country skis, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wished I could turn to you and say “Log in and come join me!” How I miss sharing these little things. I know you’d be encouraging me to buzz around to the picturesque sims and take lots of photos and carry on and do things, and it is a nice escape, but I miss our adventures together.

I put our little tree out. I’m sure there are newer, snazzier ones this year, but this was one we set out last year, so I think I’ll just rez it this year too.  I thought about changing our landscape to winter, but I didn’t have the heart to log your avvie in to change the textures. It’s hard to think about making changes, in SL and in RL. I just can’t bring myself to do any decorating in our real house, so SL seemed the perfect place to make a quiet little Christmas corner.

Merry Christmas, honey. I know you’re with me in every thought I have. You can’t imagine how much I miss you this year.

Loving you forever,
your Ravensong

Jul 052013


I take way too many selfies. The number of selfies on my phone probably rivals that of a bored teenager, yet I still keep pointing the camera at myself and snapping more shots, and playing with filters, and editing them beyond all recognition. It’s just immensely fun to play with photos, and if I can make myself look cute then hey, big bonus 😀 Continue reading »