I lost July. I know it came and went, but I didn’t really notice it. I kept meaning to go into SL and find interesting things to do so I could take pics and blog, but I just couldn’t seem to motivate myself. When I did log in I spent most of the time in my house playing around in my inventory instead of exploring and going on picture taking adventures. My Second Life has been a lot like my offline life.
It’s certainly not the first time a month has slipped away from me. I still feel as if I am caught in a bubble outside of time. I know that it passes for others, but I just don’t feel it.
People keep repeating to me that there’s no time limit on grief. That I should take as long as I need and not worry or apologize for it. Sometimes I think I’ve taken this advice a bit too much to heart, though, and I’ve been using it as an excuse to sit at home, lost in thought and memories, and hide from the world.
Sometime I will have to think of rejoining life again. Sometime I’ll pick myself up and begin making my plans to rebuild my life, to go out into the world, to accept my “new normal.” Sometime I’ll begin to accept that grieving the loss of my husband doesn’t mean spending the rest of my life as a hermit.
But it’s just so easy to sit in the house and let time pass.