Jan 072014

Here I go into the first full week of 2014. This is the week I said I would drag myself out of my cocoon and begin doing things, this is the week I was going to start everything fresh and take charge of my life. Have I done this? Well… I’m going to blame the sub zero temperatures on my inactivity. Too cold to think today, it was much more enjoyable to stay inside under a blanket, and wander around in world for a while.

We were looking for some ice cream… I think we took a wrong turn somewhere…

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Nov 272013

I’d love to be a science nerd, I was thinking about that last night as I wandered around the solar system. I’ve never given a lot of thought to where I fall in the whole geeks vs nerds debate, but I always felt nerdy in school. I was a bookworm, and socially awkward doesn’t begin to describe me… socially backward, maybe? Does that incorporate elements of dorkiness?  Ah, who knows. I’m just content to follow my interests without worrying too much about the labels.

I may not know quite what to call myself but I’ll give the Geeky Meme a shot. The instructions from Strawberry Singh: Continue reading »

Nov 192013

I’ve actually been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. Part of it comes from a strong need to write my way through this month and vent every feeling I’ve had  so far as I try to come to grips with losing a spouse. Part of it is a tendency to ask myself these sorts of questions from time to time anyway.

One of the things I’ve thought about is the relationship between myself and my avatars. I’ve only logged Ravensong into SL once since my husband passed, and it was extremely difficult for me to be in world. I hadn’t realized just how closely we had associated ourselves with our avatars, we always joked that they were us as we’d like to be, but I think the identification was much deeper.  Raven is Melony, Natureszen was Jeff, there was never a division where we’d see them as characters and ourselves as the typists controlling them. SL was our shared experience, it was ours in much the same way a favorite restaurant was ours, the park we went to most was ours, and even watching certain TV shows or listening to a particular band was our thing. I’m finding that with all of these activities, even if it is something I’ve enjoyed on my own from time to time, I am having a hard time imagining it will be possible to enjoy it without him. I am so closely tied to Raven that logging her in to explore is almost the same in my mind as considering going to a favorite RL place by myself. It just feels wrong, and lonely. Continue reading »

Nov 112013

I still had a number of photos hanging around that I was going to blog around Halloween, or throughout November. A lot of them had a dark, foggy theme, with attempts at dramatic clouds, moody windlights, and a haunted feel.  Too many had my av standing alone in a misty, faded landscape, looking sort of lost. That is far too close to how I feel now: alone in the fog, completely lost. There is an emptiness when I look at them, knowing I can’t turn to my hub and say “Look! What do you think of these?” and he’d give me feedback, or tell me to post it on Flickr. Sometimes he’d tell me that he  showed my Flickr to people when he wanted to introduce them to Second Life, and he’d talk about how creative SL was, and how much we both enjoyed it, and how he thought I was such a good photographer, and to keep taking pictures. Continue reading »

Feeling Halloweeny

 Chatter, Images, Monday Memes  Comments Off on Feeling Halloweeny
Oct 292013

Halloween is nearly here, so it’s only fitting that Strawberry Singh meme this week is The Halloween Meme! I tried to find something costume-y to wear for the pic, but this year I haven’t really bought any outfits that are Halloween related and I can’t afford to replenish the Linden supply for at least a couple weeks, so no shopping for me. Undaunted, I used the same costume finding method I have in RL: dig in the back of the closet and see what I can put together, and add wings. I think it turned out well considering that everything except the boots and hair is from 2008-2009. Continue reading »