Jul 10, 2015 | Chatter, Images
It’s been rainy today. It seems fitting, because it’s been a melancholy day so far. Ten years ago on this day I was on my first date with my late husband. We’d talked online for a couple of weeks, but it was the first time we’d met in person, at a bookstore coffee shop. Every year we marked that day, either by going back to the bookstore, or stopping off for burritos at the site of our first dinner.
I’ve been going in world quite often in the past few weeks, I’m not sure why but I’ve felt a need to rejoin Second Life after keeping it at arms length for so long. For much of that time when I did log in I did so as an alt, wanting to distance myself a bit. Ravensong was tied so closely to NaturesZen, my husband’s av, that seeing her in world without him around was actually depressing and stressful. It was like going to our favorite places in real life alone. It just wasn’t the same, I missed having him with me.
Lately I’ve been logging in with Raven again and rediscovering my bond with her. I’m trying to be more social. I’ve been feeling driven to start taking pics again and remembering how much fun it is. I’ve also been logging in one of my hub’s alts simultaneously, I’m not sure why but just having his alt online is comforting. Maybe it makes me feel that my husband is still with me, even though his alt looks nothing like either my hub or his main. Maybe it’s just that with that other avatar there I can enjoy the illusion that I’m a little less alone in virtual space.
I was laughing with one of my friends the other day that I feel like I’m up to something because I’ve stolen my alt’s partner so I can enjoy cute cuddle poses. I have no idea if this is just a random distraction as I move through the second year of grieving, or if it’s helping in some way. I know there must be many, many people who’ve gone through similar things as me… other SLers who lost a partner who they shared both their real and virtual lives with. I often wonder what their journey is like, how they view the world now, how they move forward.
For now I think I’ll just go out for my first date anniversary burrito.
Contemplating this whilst visiting Leka.
May 7, 2015 | Blog Challenges, Images
1. I miss SL Go. I wish I’d used it more often. But Bright Canopy sounds promising, especially when my insistence on cranking my graphics settings up as high as I can has been making my laptop cry.
2. Should I have really ordered that pizza tonight? I mean, really?
3. I really like the way mesh bodies look, but I still laugh every time I tp somewhere and find a whole bunch of mesh-bod wearing avatars who look like disembodied heads with a collection of nude body parts and stiff articles of clothing floating around them until everything finishes rezzing.
4. I need to make a list of sims I want to visit and start taking pics more often. WindWept was a good start! It’s a lovely, watery sim with lots of good places for photos, lots of places to sit and chat or cuddle with someone special, and a few fun hidden places to discover.
5. It was probably not the best of ideas to try to start a blog challenge when I’m stressed about job hunting and am having a hard time focusing on that.
6. I also need to make a list of real world places to go and start taking pics again. I really miss going out and snapping photos, and I know the primary reason that I stopped was because I miss my husband, he was my exploring partner and could always find cool things.
7. Who cares if the pizza was a bad diet choice! It was tasty. 😀
~
Visit WindWept!
Or find more from my trip at my Flickr 🙂
May 6, 2014 | Chatter, Images, Monday Memes
The blog challenge this week over at Strawberry Singh’s blog is all about color! She asks us to blog a pic of our favorite color or colors, and we learn that if anyone is considering giving her a gift it probably shouldn’t be teal. 😀 I wasn’t sure if I’d try the challenge this week because I felt like it should have a fashion component, and I usually avoid fashion challenges because I’ve no idea how to style my avvies and talk about clothes like a fashion blogger. Eventually I realized that it’s useless to resist a meme so I began sifting through my inventories to see if I could find something colorful.
I always say my favorite color is blue, (and I’m pretty delighted by the skies in the pic above too) but I also am fond of pinks and earth tones, and I really like some shades of fuchsia and (sorry, Berry) teal, especially when paired as an accessory with black. In RL I’ve always tended towards wearing dark colors, in fact I have far too many dark colors. I definitely took to heart that old advice that dark is supposed to be slimming for a big girl and as a result I now have to stop myself when shopping because I instinctively reach for the black shirt first. I seem to be doing this in SL as well, although as standard mediums I don’t think either of my girls need to worry about looking thinner. I’m amused that I dress Ravensong like me rather often… sometimes just in the sort of clothes I’d love to wear if I were a bit slimmer or could afford the RL versions, but other times, as below, she’s totally me. Or I’m her… I haven’t quite determined which yet it is yet. 😀
Raven and her slightly flashier altsister do have the benefit of a better wardrobe selection than I, and there were some brighter colors lurking in inventory. I love the little pink jacket from Emery, and the pink Nairobi shirt from Cracked Mirror at the latest Fameshed needs to be in my RL closet.
At the end of the day, I realized I was more obsessed with finding pretty skies than finding colorful outfits. I may not wear a lot of vivid colors, but I love to have them surrounding me, whether it’s windlit SL skies, or colorful accessories in SL or RL, or the various bits of cobalt blue glass stuff i have a fondness for in RL. Color is wonderful, I could never last for long in a subdued, monochromatic home.
I think the next time I take Ravensong out shopping I’ll inject some brighter hues into her wardrobe. Since she’s pretty much mini-me perhaps she’ll inspire me to liven up my RL wardrobe too.
🙂
Apr 24, 2014 | Images, Random Thoughts
My first thought when I visited Frisland was that it was exactly the sort of place I’d have been eager to share with my husband. I could imagine biking around the sim with him, and looking for the hidden little spots and the tiny details. It’s a really beautiful place and I’ve gone back a few times to take pictures and just enjoy the quiet, and rez a bike (available near the entry point) to ride around, and accidentally pedal straight into the sea, or crash into trees. In all my years you’d think I’d have gotten the hang of bicycling in SL, but nooo…
In one week it will be six months since my husband died, and sometimes I feel like I’m looking for a way to mention him in every blog post I make, no matter which blog I’m writing on. I still talk to him all the time about the day. I still share my exploration in world with him. Sometimes it’s nice to find those quiet, tranquil sims and take a moment to sit and imagine he’s joining me in the adventure.
Visit Frisland
Jan 15, 2014 | Chatter, Images, Sightseeing
Today was one of those days where everything felt extra stressful. Just dealing with life made me want to run away and hide under a bed for a few hours… or at least to run away and dive into a carton of ice cream, or a pile of Cheetos. Anything with a lot of calories would have been good.
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